to blog:

blog: (blɒɡ)
-- v
1. to author an online diary or chronology of thoughts. Abbreviation of Weblog.
2. something I'm probably not cool enough to do, but this isn't for you it's for me.


Remember ten years ago when you were asked by some teacher or school counselor "where will you be in ten years?" Well, ten years ago I was starting seventh grade. I was in ninth grade algebra and at the beginning of the path to Engineerdom. I thought at 22 I'd be finishing my bachelors in Civil engineering and applying to masters programs for environmental engineering/environmental law. I figured I would be married and I never thought I would be in debt at this point. And I certainly wouldn't be living with my parents.

When I entered my program at SUU teachers were in high demand. You were "guaranteed" a job when you finished. I completely overloaded my course work to finish in 4 years. Well here I am 22 years old with a bachelors degree in Music Education in the worst job market since WWII, with budget cuts transforming into jobs being cut and arts programs being downsized. Needless to say, I am not teaching music for the 2010-11 school year. I am in debt to my parents, I work for barely more than minimum wage at a job that is physically and emotionally expensive and I sleep in the same room I slept in from ages 3-12 which shares a wall with my parents bedroom. Though I have completed many of the rites of passage to adulthood (i.e. graduating high school, moving away from home, graduating university) I still feel like an adolescent. I sneak out of the house, I escape to friends apartments, I mow lawns at the house and at my parents' rental properties. It's like the last 5 years didn't happen.

I know I've talked to a few of you about this feeling before and you have all been very supportive and I don't mean to whine, but comparing 2005 Beth to 2010 Beth we find that 2010 is in more debt, more 'experienced' (if ya know what I mean) and weighs more. Other than that, not a lot has changed. "But you have a degree!" yeah I hear ya, my degree is making me eight bucks an hour working graveyard shifts. I actually made more and had better hours the summer after I graduated high school. I worked 9-5 for ten bucks an hour, I had paid vacation and sick days. So 2010 could actually be seen as a step back.

But in life's disappointments we have to learn to find detours as opposed to dead ends. When else in my life am I going to have nothing tying me down? Will I ever again have no obligation to anyone? What exactly is keeping me here in Salt Lake City? Answers: Never, No, Nothing (respectively). I am done planning my life around other people and their expectations. Do I love the people that I'd been living for? For the most part yes, and they love me and will continue to love me in spite of my new found self motivation. I am no longer going to sit around a let life happen. I am looking into new opportunities all the time.

I have a few things in the works, and for fear of jinxing myself, I won't discuss them here until they are a little more solid. But stay tuned because I will keep you posted.

And so middle school teachers and counselors, as much as I'm a fan of shooting for something remind the kids that they are going to change and their plans will change and the world will change. Stop trying to get kids to specialize so early. It used to be that your Gen. Eds. in college were to help you figure out your future, then you were supposed to choose in high school, now I see kids so limited in their "electives" that it seems you have to choose your path in junior high school. KNOCK IT OFF!